3 Boys and a Mom - Diary of a Tagteam

Divorce Countdown

13 days and a wake up!!! Ahhhhh can you taste the victory??? It's right there near the tip of your tongue....

Well G'ma went home - I know nothing other then that... Daddy miserable at his sister's so I am going to get him today after a few hours of sleep.... I made somd serious progress on house this weekend and have a few things to finish in the major departments and then it's all just minor issues - I feel soo accomplished to have worked my way thru my list... AND I even managed to get some rest too!! Dealing w/E has been emotionally draining but I am holding up well... Well it's off to prepare things to go home!!! Til next time...

ALA | Banned Books Week It's Banned Books Week - read a banned book!!! Hmmmmm gonna have to look at the lists and see what I can find to read... Til next time...

Divorce Countdown

17 days and a wake up!!!

G'ma Update

G'ma is still in the hospital - haven't heard too much else other then that but they still treat me like a child in some aspects... Of course Dad doesn't seem to know much more then I do.... Dad spent the week w/us but he's now back down in MD so that he's closer to DE and the hospital - he'll be back sometime next weekend then the following week we are off to the Poconos for our annual vacation!! I sooo can't wait!!

Not much more today - we have made some serious progress w/the computer but I still have some tweaking to do then I will be fully back online at home! WOOO HOOOO I can't wait!!! Thank you Daddy for all your help!!! Til next time...

You know in the last 6 yrs my brain has gone to mush - I haven't read much in AGES that I couldn't fit into a 4 min trip to the privy but I long for a little brain stretching these days... I wanna be able to hold an intelligent conversation w/someone other then my 4 and 6 yo....

ALA | 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books of 1990-2000

So I found the above list over at Karen & Pete's It's a VERY curious list - first I have read, at sometime in my life, atleast 15 of the books and atleast half of the remaining have tickled my curiousity... I am gonna make a list of books I want to read and try to slowly work my way thru them... Although it's a shame to read some of the book titles on this list - have we has americans become soo paranoid at offending someone and so "politically correct" that we are burning classic books??? This concept has puzzled me forever!!! Books that should have been more offensive years and years ago when you consider the current events of those times were perfectly acceptable - NOW they are suddenly offensive??? ummmm pardon me but aren't we supposed to be in the 21st century??? My brain is just BAFFLED!!! SOOOO as I prepare my reading list, anyone have any pointers on how and WHEN to manage to read more then 3 paragraphs at a time??? BESIDES hog tying the boys that is! *L* Til next time....

Divorce Countdown

20 days and a wake up!!

Ok so my brain isn't clearing up - could be the lack of sleep but not positive on that.... And now today it's pouring out there - great sleeping or baking weather - guess I will be baking since I doubt I will get to sleep!! *sigh*

Daddy is trying to reach personnel to make appt to file his retirement paperwork... E being a super asshole about everything from my "suddenly cooking daily" to his claims I am "kissing Daddy's ass for the free $$$" and the list goes on and on... he's turning into Mr Asshole from the first drink it seems - a little faster then usual.... Perhaps he's jealous of my relationship w/my parents - I think that has always bothered him.. He most likely doesn't get the fact I don't mind doing things for Daddy cause he atleast appears/pretends to appreciate what I do.... Dad wants to leave cause he thinks it's his fault E is being an AH... I tried explaining to Daddy that it's not his fault, that E would be even more an asshole even if Daddy wasn't here... But hard to really hold a conversation knowing that E is sitting in backroom just listening and WAITING for me to say ANYTHING he can come pounce on... I HATE when I feel spied on..

My brother was up for the weekend - was GREAT to see him and the kids... NOT overly impressed w/SIL and her attitude, ESP when my Dad says just a couple of weeks ago she was talking about divorcing bro and then has the nerve to try to talk to me about how divorce is sooo bad and you should try to work it out for the kids, etc... I set her straight that if you are subjecting yourself and your children to emotional and verbal abuse you DON"T stay in the marriage just for the kids.... She shut up... E says she was rude, arrogant and a few other things when I wasn't there - oh well... We took the kids to the beach and the loved it!! Even bro got in the water (fully clothed) and swam - looked like he had a lot of fun!! Just wish he could have stayed longer although I was a little overwhelmed w/6 children and an infant in the house...

Work is work and I have barely been keeping up w/any current events or news - just don't have enough time... BUT we got my motherboard in my puter however now my HD is not being recognized - God I hope it's an easy fix because EVERYTHING is on that drive!!! EVERYTHING!!! ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGG We are gonna work more on it today while Deven is at school - although I would like to get a little sleep before the boys get home from school... Well it's off to get ready to leave... Til next time...

Divorce Countdown

21 days and a wake up!

SOOO much going on right now - work a madhouse, E being a super jerk AND my dad is spending the week.... More later when my brain is clear!!! Sue - I am coping - just barely coping but coping day by day - miss you!!! Gotta run - til next time...

Divorce Countdown

22 days and a wake up....

Soon to be ex is going to drive me totally insane... LOTS More later - we survived the storm quite well - nothing major to report there... More later... Til next time...

Divorce Countdown

25 days and a wake up....

Dad arrived safely - spent the night w/him and my aunt in Maryland and popped down 3 houses to mom's to steal a few min of puter time...

The nasty ole bitch is headed this way between 6 and midnight but I plan on being home by then.. Will take Dad w/me and head north to Wilmington - Dad wants to get me a cell phone so people can reach him while he's here then I get it when he leaves.... Gotta run - mom wants puter back... Til next time...

Divorce Countdown

26 days and a wake up!!

That nasty bitch (thanks Steph!) has been downgraded to a Cat 2 and we are only under a Tropical Storm Watch now.... Not that I was overly worried about it... I had just emailed a friend of my Dad's over in Korea who is watching his place while he's home and said "after 22 yrs in NJ and living thru various hurricanes I am not in a panic..." I will just pick up some extra groceries and if we are in danger the base will have somewhere safe for us... But just in case you aren't sure how to prepare Michelle covered it in her post Axis of Isabella. Thanks Michelle - I am off to pick a few extra supplies now that I hadn't thought to get!

Dad arrives today at 5pm in Phili - boys and I are picking him up and taking him down to the hospital immediately... I am off to perform a torrential flurry of housework for the next few hours!!! Til next time..

Operation Troop Trax A worthy cause for anyone that wishes to help out the thousands of soldiers deployed over to the big sand box and various other locations... and thanks and congrats to Michele over at A Small Victory for winning a Merit Award for her work and for telling everyone about Troop Trax... Kudos to her!!!

Yet another interesting thing was the attacks she was beleagued w/for discussing Free Lunch Program available to people earning below a certain income level... Those opposed to the program and slamming Michele for using the program at a time when she really needed the assistance apparently have NEVER experienced a cash crunch OR have had children or lived paycheck to paycheck... BRAVO to them!!! But wake up and smell the coffee - the need DOES exist and ignoring it, slamming it and attacking those in need isn't the answer and doesn't help!!!

The opinions of those opposed is as ridiculous as a discussion on a local radio station opposing a program to help minimum wage earners afford to rent or own a two bedroom apartment or home... Ummm as ANYONE priced housing these days??? Esp in my area of NJ - A one bedroom apt goes for 725/mo a MINIMUM, a studio/efficiency 600/mo.... Even someone making twice the minimum wage of 5.75 is hard pressed to be able to maintain a place to live these days in my area w/o working 2 or even 3 jobs, esp if they have a child or children.... There is a serious housing shortage in the US and yet prices for rents and such are outrageous... And getting assistance when/if you need it is harder then trying to get blood from a stone... I am soo glad that so many people are sooo well off they don't need assistance for rents or even school lunch programs but sadly there are those that DO live paycheck to paycheck and could use the assistance - but sadly many don't qualify and sometimes by mere change per pay/month.... So don't be blind and think poorly of those need/use assistance but rejoice in the fact YOU don't and maybe do something to help out those that DO!!!

Til next time..

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} Thinking of Shaylee, Melinda and the family today.... Shaylee is supposed to have her first dose of chemo today... {{{{HUGS}}}} to you all.... Mel if you need anything let me know... Til next time..

Divorce Countdown

27 days and a wake up!!!! But who's counting!! *grin*

Talk Like A Pirate Day - September 19

Everyone be sure to check it out and participate!! Sounds like a really fun day to be part of!!!

Til next time...

Divorce Countdown

28 days and a wake up!!!

Grandma Update --

We went to see her yesterday.... she looks so frail and dozed alot, moaning w/discomfort.... She was mentally alert for the most part but she is so dehydrated that her tongue is dry and swollen and she's very hard to understand when she talks and she hates sucking on the ice chips and these little sponges on a stick.... they are going to do a biopsy today or tomorrow on the mass... The Red Cross has contacted my Dad in Korea and he will be home on Weds... I am gonna switch Weds/Thurs night shifts to take him down there and be w/him, etc... Then we will play it by ear.... He's home for 20 days to start and then he and his bosses will play it by ear as well... Just keep praying for her.... As I mentioned to a friend last night - she just has this aura about her that perhaps her time w/us is limited and I am doing what I can to come to terms w/that... She's 89.5, she came to the US from Sweden in 1925, processing thru Ellis Island... She was married for MANY years, has 3 wonderful children, 3 grandchildren, 8 great grandchilden and has led a full life... My g'pa passed about/almost 23 yrs ago so I am sure that perhaps she's ready to re-join him.... We shall see how things go, just keep praying.... Til next time...

You know sometimes it's amazing how the mind works... I can lay w/the boys in the grass and look at clouds and not see a friggin shape if my life depended on it - but today driving up 295 North, headed home, the big puffy fluffs of cotton were showing me puppies wrestling, a thumbs up and someone sleeping on their back w/their mouth agape, a whale and tons of other shapes... And where were the boys??? OUT COLD! And I am driving so I can't really stare at the clouds for very long now can I?? Of course that is JUST my luck to have something happen on just such a time schedule....

Or take my memory or lack thereof - you know I can't remember if we consummated the marriage on the day we got married??? Man did this piss off E!!! I can remember vividly so many details of the day of and day before but I can't remember if I had sex!! (FYI I am told we did if you are wondering)

And I can tell ya quite a bit about 9/11, or my first day working for the government back in Dec 88, the weekend I learned to tie my shoes when I was oh about 7 - but I can't remember my own wedding night or for that matter can I tell you where I was and what I was doing when the Challenger blew up or other such historical moments btwn the 80s and now - things most people can tell you the exact details of their day on are complete blanks to me... Too many useless pieces of info in my brain perhaps or maybe it's a genetic flaw... Hey! Could I have early onset alzheimers ya think?? I hear it starts in the 30s... One just never knows do they!

And do you ever wonder where other people are going or what they are talking about when you pass them on the highway?? Do you look to see if you know them??? Just random thoughts in my brain tonight....

My children absolutely AMAZE me w/the amount of intellect and reasoning they have.... Today's glimpse - They have costumes they wear for dress up - Spiderman, Power Ranger, Motocross Racer, Star Wars something or other... Well of course the FAV one is Spiderman and they usually BOTH wanna wear it at same time (YES I KNOW we should have TWO but when we purchased them each wanted a particular one - I TRIED to tell them to both get the Spiderman one!)... Somehow Deven managed to con Dilen out of it today (umm yeah right somehow -Deven has this skill down to a science I swear!) so he had it on under his clothes all day (DON"T ASK! but Dilen wore his Wildforce Power Rangers one too!) so on the way home Dilen is working hard on convincing Deven to give it back so he can wear it... "Hey Deven I got an idea, how about we share and take turns, you go first and I'll go second, ok?" I can only hope it worked - E hasn't called about their fighting so perhaps it became a done deal... BTW I ALSO learned my children can totally strip out of shirt and pants down to previously referenced costumes in less then 5 min without ever removing thier seatbelts!!! David Letterman here we come!!! Til next time...

I am taking the boys w/me and going to see my G'ma today... It's a 3 hr ride each way and we will only stay a few hours but I am going down.... I contacted the Red Cross last night to start the process of getting my father home....

DIVORCE COUNTDOWN

29 days and a wake up!!!

Til next time...

Divorce Countdown

30 days and a wake up!!!!!!!


Grandma ---

Things aren't looking too good.... My cousin, who's an Olympic hopeful and training in Ohio came home yesterday... My Dad is coming home, need to call Red Cross and find out what they need to get him home... Gotta keep working on house to keep busy.... My aunt tells me they found a mass behind her pancreous (sp?) but not sure what it is, they are testing further, brought in some type of doctor to evaluate....

DH is driving me up a wall, he's insisting she is gonna die today, we need to get there NOW.... Ummmm we can't see her in hospital, we don't know much and I have to work.... not tooo much we could do down there anyway right now... I can do more from home getting things arranged to get my Dad home... Gotta go, need to keep moving... Til next time...

The Parent Perspective : October 1999

WOOOOO HOOOOOOO a pre-divorce party!!! Come join us all you Oct Mums!!! 31 days and a wake up!!!! 31 DAYS!!!

It's a sad day in the entertainment world today - John Ritter and Johnny Cash have both passed away...

John Ritter Dies Ritter's Biography

Johnny Cash Dies Cash's Biography

Both will be missed... I met Johnny Cash and his wife June back in 85 I believe when they did a concert in Asbury Park, NJ to raise money for the revitalization of the town... Both were kind, sweet people... Til next time...

Divorce Countdown

32 days and a wake up!!!

{{HUGS}} My thoughts go out to all the victims of 9-11, both those we have lost and those left behind... You are all forever in my heart...

We fought the fight
we'll win the war
\but why all this violence
it just closes a door

One door closes
another ajar
but will God lead us
to the clear and the far

Today in Spetember
2001
such sadness was felt
and then it was done

Today in Spetember
2003
will you say
a prayer with me

Never forget
those that are gone
and celebrate with the survivors
from dawn to dawn

But always remember
keep their memory alive
by talking remembering
this goal I shall strive.

written by Debi Fisher
2003

And the COUNTDOWN begins!!!!!

Oct 14th - 33 days and a wake up to go!!! Only 33 short days!!!! Til next time...

As the second anniversary of 9/11 approaches I have been doing some reflecting and some reading... here's a touching site...
Random Nuclear Strikes: "I Believe,...There are angels among us."

Here's another good one... Voices: Stories from 9/11 and Beyond

Many good points have been made as I look thru other's blogs... mostly that w/the 2nd anniversary approaching the media seems to have shied away from much or any mention of the anniversary... Being so close to NYC, working for the military, living a military base and knowing people that were directly affected has had a great impact on me... When the tragedy first occurred there were bumper stickers, signs, shirts, etc that appeared "We Shall Never Forget" and various similar slogans... and yet it seems so many have.... It would be a shame to not remember all those souls lost and wounded that horrible day, keep the senseless losses from being meaningless... I am not saying you HAVE to remember, participate in memorializing in a organized way but I think everyone should talk about it, remember, reflect in your own way... Silence let's the enemy win.... Perhaps the day of and following 9/11 stay soo close to me because of how drastically life DID change on 9/11 - living/working on a military base we went to lock down, we now pass armed guards and show id when we leave and return to the base, my children then 2 and 4 lost a piece of their innocence that day as did so much of America... And still these changes, security measures continue today - I am reminded every day.... I won't forget, I can't.... Til next time...

Interesting reading and listening found at Empty Wishes
A little update on everyone's favorite guy in green, Steve!! Rather interesting articles were found and the music is pretty good too!!! Check it out for yourself! Steve's Web Page: The Main Central Page With All the Doings

Til next time...

was it the Pagan remark? Thanks Steph for this interesting read...

RESUME
George W. Bush
The White House, USA

Past Work Experience

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.

I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; the company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With my father's help and name, I was elected Governor of Texas.

Accomplishments as Governor

I changed pollution laws in favor of the power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any Governor in American history.

I became U.S. President after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes with the help of major Enron money and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

Accomplishments as President

I attacked and overtook two countries.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

My record for environmental issues is the least of my concerns.

I am the first president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I set the the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one year period.

After taking-off the entire month of August, I then presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

I am supporting development of a "Tactical Bunker Buster" nuke, a WMD.

I am getting our troops killed, under the lie of Sadam's procurement of Yellow Cake Nuke WMD components, then blaming the lie on our British friends.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. president.

In my first year in office over 2-million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any president in U.S. history.

I set the record for least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.

I signed more laws and executive orders effectively amending or ignoring the Constitution than any president in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused to use national reserves as past presidents have done.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people) shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I've dissolved more international treaties than any president in U.S. history.

I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in U.S. history.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.

My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I am the first president in U.S. history to have almost all 50 states of the Union simultaneously suffer massive financial crisis.

I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in history.

I am the first president in U.S. history to order a pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the world community.

I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in history.

I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Elections Monitoring Board.

I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in U.S. history.

I rendered the entire United Nations viewpoints irrelevant.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" (detainees) and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first president in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation) presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history. My political party used the Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most resented country in the world, possibly the largest failure of diplomacy in World history.

I am actively working on a policy of "disengagement" creating the most hostile of Israel-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.

I am first president in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am the first U.S. president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the U.S. than by their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I set an all-time record for the number of administration appointees who violated U.S. law by not selling their huge personal investments in corporations bidding for U.S. contracts.

I failed to fulfill my pledge to capture Osama Bin Laden, dead or alive.

I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the U.S. Capitol Building. Even after 18 months I have no leads and no credible suspects.

In the past 18 months following the World Trade Center attack I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.

I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any president in U.S. history.

In a little over two years, I created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided since the Civil War.

I entered my office with the strongest economy in U.S. history and have turned every single economic category downward -- all in less than two years.

Records and References:

I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine. My Texas driving record has been erased and is not available.

I was AWOL from the National Guard.

I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.

All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed, and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

Please consider my experience when voting in 2004. ~

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmm.... thanks again Steph! Til next time...

OCT 14th!!! 35 days to go.... only 35 short days!!! God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Til next time...

Well that's it.... 35 days from now on Oct 14th or 15th I go back to file the paperwork to make the divorce final... It was fast and fairly easy to file - alot easier then I thought.... Now to keep E happy and keep dealings w/him to a minimum til then.... He's already driving me friggin nuts.... He's home - it's Monday, I fell asleep - gee I DID work all night so I could be tired... and we didn't get back from courthouse and picking up Dilen til 12ish..... What does he do??? Wake ME up to go meet Dev's bus - yabbering on about WHY DID I HAVE TO WAKE YOU UP?? WHY ARENT" YOU UP?? This shit drives me nuts.... he is home why can't HE be responsible for the children??? Besides fact that perhaps if it was a normal day I would been asleep before 1pm and not to tired and groggy at 2:30!!!! He's been pulling this crap alot since I asked for the divorce....

SMILE! It's almost over... It's almost over.... only have to get thru the next 35 days.... breath in, breath out...

Well the bus is coming... Til next time...

Well this is it.... Today is the day... headed to the courthouse to officially file the paperwork for the divorce... Nervous, sad and yet excited at the same time.... I need to run, gotta make some copies real fast and then I am off and running... Til next time...

Well it was a LOOOONG Saturday - I finally got the faucets to install - we had 3 leaking really bad for a long time now.... E did the 2 bathroom ones quickly before I even got home from work... The kitchen was an experiment in hell... The former owners had been under there and jerry rigged stuff - sooo of course it wasn't an easy replacement... We started at about 10:30am.... 4 trips to Home Depot and a LONG argument, E passed out, I settled boys in, took a look, ran to Home Depot twice more for returns/exchanges and at 10:30 pm *I* turned on the water again and NOOOO leaks!!! WOOOO HOOOOOOO Now to get the house cleaned and in order... it's really looking like Hurricane Whoever has come thru w/their cousin Tornado Tom... Well it's off to do dishes... Til next time...

Ok - so the first week of school is done... Deven did really well overall - I am not impressed w/the work he's bring home as it's all coloring and basics he did last year as a kindi student and I have seen what the mainstream 1st graders are doing.... but hey he's going to school and having a good time - AND he's doing the work and cooperating - I can't ask for more.... The teacher has said that past 2 days he's more active, vocal, squirmy in afternoons and having trouble sitting still in his seat and quietly.... WTF lady?? He's ADHD and I think so far it's been 110% better this yr!!!! SOOOO now what??? Seems that around 12-12:30-ish he's reach his sit still limit - he's still doing the work apparently but not sitting.... Eliz?? Stacy?? Any ideas I can take to teacher/school??? He's getting that "I like school" spark back and he was able to tell me that he "got in trouble" for not sitting still today - that is a huge step forward.... AND I have noticed that in general he's becoming a happier child... he is singing and seat dancing to the kids tapes in the car now - something he didn't used to do.... Overall I am very happy w/the progress we have made in a yr but still I cry inside that he's not fully happy at school - and if he's getting in trouble for having difficulties controlling impulses - a symptom (?) directly related to his medical conditions I am very sad and upset - how can you punish him after he's come so far for something he's just able to control yet??? Ahhhhh I see that we need to nip all this in the bud NOW before this yr becomes another hellish year.... Eliz your great wisdom and advice would be MUST appreciated right now - Stacy ANY input from your experiences w/Jack would help.... Well it's off to finish grocery shopping and get something for dinner... Til next time...

ARRRGGGGGGGG Have I mentioned I can't wait for this divorce to be over as soon as possible??? E was up to his usual drunken crap again - he got pissed at me because I had to work tonight and gee I was JUST mentioning it to him at 8pm??? Ummmm HELLO????? Like did he think I was never going back to my job??? WTF??? So now we are back to "warring" according to him - I am to remember he's there as a curteousy to me for my job BUT I need to tell them to find a replacement for me by FRIDAY or higher a babysitter because he's NOT one!!! Ummm aren't they YOUR children??? OHHH and let's not pay any $$$ to me this payday for child support, money he's already spent or room/board.... I just LOVE when he threatens to withhold the $$ from me... It used to work me in a tizzy but hey I will survive without it if I have to and I think that attitude really pisses him off... As for the job.... well I can always get my friend to watch the boys but that's gonna grow old VERY fast so I will have to move my mom in but I can't do that til the divorce is final because if I do he will contest just to make things more difficult on me... The next 2 month won't go fast enough - today after Deven is off to school I am gonna load up Dilen and head to the law library by the Court house... I think we can file something to waive the 35 day wait between the initial filing, his not answering/contesting and my filing asking for judgment by default - as long as he agrees - just gotta find the wordage in the law library.... He's really starting to get more and more irrational lately... The latest is that he's got all the different versions of the sep agreement showing how *I* have been constantly changing things... UMMMM pardon me - but it's been reprinted w/changes repeatedly because HE has demanded them and if a judge looked at it they would see that all the changes have been in HIS favor!! OHHH and NOW suddenly I am to change my name??? It belongs to him and the boys - not me... Well that doesn't fully bother me either way but having a different name then the boys does.... I'll have to discuss that issue w/him again soon before I file Monday... The worst is when he's pissed at me he tries to blackmail me by saying if I do X then he will never have anything to do with the boys again... AND he's saying crap like this in front of them.... Ok so I have yelled at him and called him a drunk, etc within hearing of the boys but I have NEVER said such hurtful things that I KNOW the boys can pick up on... *sigh* Of course he remembers VERY little the next day... it's getting worse I swear... I just keep praying to my higher power to give me strength and to move things along quickly and easily... Well it's off to have a smoke... Til next time...

Well the first day of school is over.... The note said Deven had a great 1st day!! YEAH!! Of course he came home exhausted and now claims he doesn't want to go back... I really hope that as he gets into the swing of things he feels better about school....

Me?? I am not feeling so great today - a bit nauseous and tired - hopefully this will pass.... the house is still a pigsty but I am trying to get a handle on laundry... I have to work tonight so I am gonna go rest.... Til next time...

Today is Deven's first day of school - we bathed, we got clothes ready, we went to bed on time and fell asleep promptly.... we OVER SLEPT????!!!!! Sooo a mad dash to get dressed, get meds taken and get to bus stop by 8:01 in under 20 min!! *sigh* We did it!! I hadn't intended for him to actually ride the bus just meet the driver but he got on and away he goes.... Now to start my errands and tackle my house!! UGH!! Til next time...

YEAH One more day and a wake up and school starts!!! Deven gets on Bus #1 at 8:01am Wednesday morning.... He will be returning to the same room and the same teacher... I am leary about this but will give it a shot and see how it goes... Wish us luck that things are better this year from the start..

Dilen will return to school on the 8th... Not sure who he will have for a teacher since the teacher he was to have has been transferred to another school... This is gonna make things rough for us since both boys don't do change very well and if he ends up w/the teacher I think he will things are gonna be VERY rough since he doesn't seem to like the woman... But the preschool is going on a wing and a prayer at the moment anyway so we might end up moving him next month anyway - I'll tough it out and see how things go...

Overall I am ready for my little men to return to school and I to be able to attend to house chores and sleep... but then again I have that funny feeling about watching my boys head off to school w/their little backpacks and fresh sneakers... We got the boys hair cuts on Sat... they look so handsome now... I'll figure out when to upload pics later in week... Well I have rambled enough I think... I am avoiding venting about E and his flip flopping thoughts that drive me nuts so I'll stop for now... Til next time...